When Tables Turn.


I talk about women and the youth a lot on my articles because I am a firm believer that these are the people who hold society together and are the keys to the successful future of our society. The presence of a huge void in mentor-ship and guidance is undoubtedly the reason why our generation and the future ones to come are perceived to be doomed.

I occasionally have discussions with my male friends, and what I am about to write is something I have heard about a couple of times.

Once upon a time, women were viewed as naive, submissive, polite, humble, and most importantly, the helper. But in recent times, given the dynamics of life and lifestyle changes and trends, there is a new class of women who bring a whole new meaning to the very idea of marriage, relationships and dating.

For the longest time we have heard the phrase “men are dogs” and “no man is loyal” or “he’s only yours when he’s with you”, and for some reason, as women we tune our minds to believing this. Very much so that the modern day woman has a mindset and level of preparation for anything , and everything. She lives with the expectation that nothing lasts forever. And more often than not , it is with good reason.

However, I find that in recent years there has been a 180 degree flip and the dynamics of life have led to the women being the masters of the game.

Imagine if you came home one day and found your house empty; no furniture, no children, no wife. While it is natural to ask, “What did he do?” , and insinuate that the person must have done something incredibly unforgivable and warranted such action, it is important to also remember that we live in a generation where communication and love have lost all meaning, and respect has been thrown right out the window.

I recently had a talk with two of my friends who have gone through this exact ordeal [Full disclosure: they both asked me to write about this]. It is incredibly painful to hear a man open up about such an experience and learn of the desperation and grief that such a selfish act can cause someone. Every time I hear of scenarios where girls go ahead and do the unimaginable, I’m left wondering where the society went wrong. Is it in the upbringing? Is it a personal choice? Is it that they have been hurt one too many times that they choose to throw caution to the wind and go rogue?


If you are an avid reader, and go through any documents displaying current statistics, you would be very astonished by the information that remains unknown to the greater majority of the population. Last week, I was going through an article in the newspaper about the percentage of HIV infections per region. I have never been more shocked. I don’t believe I have, because when you do an average analysis of these statistics, it comes to being that nearly 50% of the entire population is infected. Do you realize what this means for the economy and the country at large? And while we are trying to encourage chastity, and the ABCs of sexual maturity, there is still the battle against the YOLO and Sponsor mindset.

When I talk about these things, I touch on morality because I feel that it is very necessary that people hear it. The very trends that exist in our society, those that contribute to moral decay are the reason I decided to start my foundation and try to reach out to teenagers and young adults. The women of the future need to be taught self respect, the value of exclusivity, the importance of earning your own money and being the reason that you grow, the sanctity of marriage; nowadays everyone is jumping in and out of marriage like it’s a game, forgetting that it is a holy institution that deserves respect! The importance of communication, and friendship, togetherness and love. The value of your education, and trusting the process. And most importantly, the value of faith; and having God in your life, to direct your thoughts, your actions and your words; to live in Christ, and according to His will.

The very fact that most of these things go unsaid and everyone is left to stumble their way through life is why our generation is perceived the way it is. Build a solid foundation for the growth and prosperity of the future generations. Talk to the young, educate them, lead them by example, and we won’t have to worry about how they turn out. We will remain hopeful in the knowledge that we set a good example, and they learnt.

6 Comments Add yours

  1. TNN says:


  2. GK says:

    Interesting read: I however read more of the problem here ( identified and some options to alienate mentioned). It would be more helpful if you address ways to curb this in detail and kindly share with affected groups through e.g copying a link to their sites / pages; e.g parents, churches etc.
    I would start by posting this to the famous ‘Kilimani Mums’ group amongst others.

    Good read though. Keep up!!

    1. lindagatere says:

      Absolutely, GK. Share widely 😊

  3. CozyZenron says:

    It’s really crazy what our society has come to. Most women I have met say that men nowadays do not want to commit and the married guys are cheaters. They have lost faith in love and settle for a situationship. It all boils down to the family and values being passed on to kids. Most parents are just making πŸ’°.


    1. lindagatere says:

      True. It always comes down to family values

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