Being Woman.


The other day, I was talking to one of my friends about random things, and we started discussing modern day “dating” and how hard it really is being a woman.

Have you ever had someone approach you and say that they have seen how you operate and feel that you are a perfect fit for a certain job or to do business with them? They will come at you like, “Hi Linda, I have this great business idea that I thought I could share with you. Maybe we can work together?”

I always wonder whether this is a good thing or a bad one. Is it a good thing that someone feels that the best way to catch your attention is to entice you with the idea of making some more money? Do they respect you enough? Is this a sign of respect? Or is it a sign of clear disrespect because they feel that you could be too materialistic, or so gullible that you would fall for this? It is a dilemma.

Most, if not all of the time, I choose to ignore.

I came to the realization that, being a woman meant being in constant battle at any given time. Look at schools; more so campuses. It is quite rare to find a lady walking by herself. Why? She’s probably afraid that campus boys will start cat-calling her, or track her back to her room. I remember, on my first day at Kenyatta University, after I was done with the registration, my roommate and I went to our room, only to find a group of four people looking for “Linda Gatere”. Note that I did not know any of these guys, and I have no idea, to date, how they knew my exact room number. Permanent struggle.

We go to the work place, and it is terror. If you are what society terms as “beautiful”, you are faced with two scenarios. Scenario A: Your boss is a woman. If you are also a smart and talented woman, you suddenly become a “potential threat” to her. Whether or not you did something to evoke these feelings in her, that would be an issue only related to you. Remember that such thoughts and feelings could very easily cost you your job. Scenario B: Your boss is a man, and he likes you. That or a person in a senior position. All of these scenarios pose a serious threat to your career, and instantly throw you into a battle you never signed up for!!

When you are walking in the streets or are busy going about your business like the boss you are, there will always be a random guy who will either make sly comments about you and/or whatever it is you are wearing or holding. Heck, they will even go ahead and insult you when they say hi and you do not respond. This is something I have never understood. What is the essence?

So as we were discussing these things with said friend, I bluntly told her this: The truth is, no matter where you go, out of the country or not, you will ALWAYS be caught up in some sort of battle. You are either trying to prove to others that you can actually deliver as expected, or you are fighting for respect and your dignity, or you are fighting to at least be treated in the same light as our male counterparts. It is a sad truth. And we could wallow, and cry, and throw ourselves into other battles trying to validate ourselves.

Or, we could own it!!

Remember that at any given time, as long as you are of good health and sound mind, you have the ability to turn things around. You create your own reality. You make things work for you as you would want them to.

It is one thing to know that something exists; and it is a whole other thing to own it and be the boss of it.

I do not believe in wallowing. Unless it poses a direct physical and/or mental threat that you cannot control, I promise you, you can turn things around!! You only need two things: Prayer, and Faith! And you can conquer whatever comes your way.

Have a great week!

Ps: I know it’s been a while. But hey, I’m back!!

4 Comments Add yours

  1. philipeddie says:

    ‘Or we could own it.’ …

    Loved this piece.

  2. Truth is if we believe in ourselves,pray and work towards that change we can definitely turn things around.
    Such a great article.

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