Era Of The Crazies


There exists a very thin line between passion and obsession.

Recently, I stumbled upon a television series by Tyler Perry, If Loving You Is Wrong; and while there are many other things to point out from this particular show, some that make me extremely uncomfortable with the whole show, there is one particular character that makes me irked.

The obsession.

Now, I realize that this is not in my usual line of writing, but this, coupled with a post I saw circulating yesterday on Facebook made me wonder. A lot.

There is a highlight on how hard a woman has to try to survive in a world where harassment is a daily way of life. And by harassment, I am talking about how the men she deals with on  a day to day basis, in one way or the other, put her in a position where she feels the need to defend herself and be a fighter! Because, as it stands, you cannot win a battle by sitting still. Whether you went to war, or war was brought to you.

In this particular show, we are shown how a woman’s ex and/or boyfriend turns on her and becomes extremely “protective” of her to the point where hurting her is seen by him as a way to keep her in check. Or to teach her a lesson. And I know that many of you will read this and say’ “….but it is just a show”. Well, yes, it is; but it is also a true reflection of reality.

Obsession - sign for love, relationships, psychology, chocolate

On countless occasions, we have seen in the news and newspapers, stories about women being emotionally abused, or physically attacked by their significant others; being caught up in unwarranted situations and having to recover, or not, by herself because she “has to take it like a woman”

We raise our girls to believe that they are not good enough, that they have to try harder even when the situation is clearly futile. We make them believe that they should try and “make it work”, that we forget to look deeper into situations.

But there exists a very thin line between ‘Obsession’ and ‘Passion’

We forget to let our young girls know the perks of dating. We encourage it. The most twisted thing about this is that we have been there; we are grown. And while we do understand that certain things require a certain level of maturity and levelheadedness, we still refuse to speak up. But we are constantly on the front line, on social media, bashing young women for making ill-advised decisions. And yet, it is our role and duty to educate the girl child, to mentor and advise them in a way that they will be able to see all the red flags, and run. To let them know that it is okay to speak up about situations, rather than suffer in silence.

Yesterday, I saw a post about how difficult it is to be a woman based on the assaults that women face but are too ashamed to talk about, or feel like they ‘deserved it’. And it ranges from anything. From the way random men wolf whistle at them while they pass by. Or is it the way uncouth men grab their arms to get their attention. Maybe it is the boyfriend who forces himself on her and says that it is her duty. Or perhaps it is the man who constantly talks her down in a bid to lower her self esteem and self worth and make her feel unworthy.

It is indeed a crazy world.

I feel that, while it is possible to educate and sensitize our women about how they can avoid such scenarios, the most ideal thing to do is to raise proper men. A problem cannot exist without its root cause.

We need to raise young boys to be proper men; to be respectful towards women and everyone else in general; and to appreciate a woman who stands by her decision.

I appreciate people that uphold humanity and integrity more than anything else. It is extremely vital that we raise generations that will change the world as we know it to be a better place, and more accommodating of everyone.

Have a great weekend!

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Tasha says:

    So true. Some of us have been taught to stick in abusive relationships in the name of it will get better and you are a woman and should endure this. Truth is the teaching is outdated.

    1. Linda Gatere says:

      Staying in abusive relationships is never an option. I hope that girls can understand that a person who truly loves them will never put them in harm’s way.

  2. Wawira says:

    Very informative and current thanks

    1. Linda Gatere says:

      Glad to hear that. Thank you.

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