Have you ever had one of those personal sessions where you analyse past desicions and actions, and wonder exactly why you chose to go through with them? Like why you are no longer friends with someone? Or why you love to talk ill of your exes, despite having had some pretty bright days together? Or maybe it was that one time you decided not to take up a job interview and ended up waiting for another opportunity to surface for over a year?
We all have it. We’ve all nurtured it at some point; and in many occasions, it has turned out to be destructive.
Most of us have chosen our egos over other more important things so many times that we tell ourselves that it is “self respect” and maintaining our “dignity” when in reality, we are feeding the gigantic monsters that live within us.
We may have some of those friends that were once our best friends whom we do not talk to any more. Heck, we do not even know what has been happening with them over the past year; or two; or more. Over time we gradually stop talking to them, saying “If I am that important to them, they’ll look for me.” Or “Why do I have to always be the first to talk to them?”. Meanwhile, the said friends share these sentiments and choose to withdraw as well. That’s a win for the ego!
We graduate from university and feel more important than our counterparts, and we decide that we shall practise the professions that we have been trained in come what may! We get many leads to opportunities. It’s not what we’ve studied after high school, but it is a great opportunity for our personal and career growth. We decline. In fact, we do not even try to see what these opportunities hold for us, we just feel that it is beneath us. We end up waiting long periods of time before any opportunity opens up and by this time, we have become so desperate, we do not even care what it’s about any more. We know that the longer we stay out of work, the more obsolete we become. Another win for the ego. Ego wins, progress loses.
We have people from our villages or around our homes or places of work who do more manual jobs or are part of the labour-force that does the work that most see as “can’t do”. We walk past them without a simple hello. We do not want to be social with them or to be seen talking to them. We feel that they are beneath us. We feed our already obese egos trying to make ourselves feel greater and better. We forget that we are a product of God’s grace, that without Him we are nothing. We feel special. Ego wins once again. Compassion loses.
We meet people from all walks of life. Most are on different levels from us, obviously because we are all on different paths. We meet some who are influential, perhaps of the same age as we are. We socialise and network. We know that a great rapport and discussing crucial matters with these people will probably elevate our ideas or open doors for us. But we are afraid to ask. We choose not to ask for help. We don’t need their advice, after all. Or so we lie to ourselves. We want them to see us as those on the same level as they are. That’s another win for the ego. Ego wins, progress loses.
If we can learn how to be humble, how to be more open minded and honest with ourselves, then we can truly open the doors for ourselves. We are, sometimes,our own enemies. We stand in the way of our progress. We block opportunities from ourselves. All because we choose to be egocentric.