Quarter-Life Crisis.


I was going through my Facebook profile today and came across a post I made three years ago:

“The good thing about hardship is this:

Sometimes what makes people a success is not a clear vision of where they want to be. Sometimes it is the hard times, the heartbreak, the low moments aka rock bottom, the late nights being insomniac thinking and wondering what went wrong, the tears on your pillow…

For a learner who’s experienced a situation in life that they didn’t like, they will do whatever it takes to make sure that they never end up where they were before. They have a clear view of what they do not want.

Sometimes success comes about when you are working against being in some situations.

That’s why most success stories have a chapter that most feel bittersweet about.”

It reminded me of the many thoughts that I have every so often; and the perception that people often have of me.

From as far as I can remember I have had my peers look at me a little differently as compared to other people my age. All through high school I had colleagues and classmates talk to me about different situations and things that they were going through; asking for my opinion. All through campus , it was always the same. I never quite understood why this always happened. I mostly assumed that it’s probably because I am a quiet person and people who talk to me feel compelled to speak some more to keep the conversation steady (introvert problems).

But as time went by, I realised that my perspective and how I view things, how I operate, how I think, among other things are mostly and very deeply rooted in what I have been through. See, everyone’s life has taken a specific course, and none is like the other. We are all very unique.

And because I have this path that I am curving out for myself, based on where I’ve been, I  hear many people say that I always seem to “have my act together”, and “know the answers to so many things”, except the truth is that even I don’t know some of these things sometimes. I’m mostly playing a guessing game , trying to figure things out , especially when there is no mentorship or guidance in certain circumstances.

Most of the times , we struggle with a myriad of situations, sometimes making blindsided decisions; not because we know exactly what we want but because we are working against certain results.

And it’s okay. We need to understand that everyone goes through a mind block at some point in their lives, especially in the late teens and early twenties. We’re mostly uncertain about our goals and visions and we exert so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and settled when in reality it is close to impossible to have everything figured out at this point. This is where you learn. You make a few mistakes and you learn from them.

Such self imposed pressures are the reason that most youth face the quarter-life crisis. It is the self comparison with peers and perception of ourselves as failures or being slow that are the reason most youth suffer from stress related conditions, including depression and emotional breakdowns.

Recognise that it is your time to grow. And grow. You live and you learn.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Cozy & Zen says:

    I am also an introvert like you so i totally relate. I like what you said, its the experiences that make us who we are now.

    1. lindagatere says:

      Thank you so much for that.

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