Dear Woman.


A few years back I wrote this article, and I find it relevant enough to share it now; especially in a world where women seem to have completely lost personal value and self respect.

This post is bound to evoke mixed reactions from everyone who chooses to have a read, but remember, these are just my two cents.

Let me just state the obvious, I am a woman. And as such, I respect every woman I come across in life; in whatever light. Given, there are some women who are not exactly my favorite people, but i realize that at the end of the day, we’re all probably faced with the same problems; just different scenarios.

In the few years that I have grown to understand what being a woman/ lady is all about, I have come to understand that women are their own worst enemies. Not just to others, but to themselves.

I come across so many situations wherein a woman forgets her worth, and starts to “take” a lot of things that she should very easily do away with. To be more specific, I know of women who have been in wrong relationships, are fully aware of it, but refuse to leave. I am often left wondering, is it about low self esteem? Or do some women think that their biological clock is ticking so loud that they need to “stick” to someone? And yet, women are born with a special ability called an intuition that is rarely, if ever, wrong. If something ain’t right, you will know.

I know of women who are still holding down a man who does not want to be held down. They think that if they hold on long enough, he’ll change; then end up with so much regret later. The truth is, he won’t. Accept it, or move on.

Yes. You made a stupid decision, but do you have to stick to it? No.

Our modern day women have a lot to learn.

You want to be respected, but do you act like it?

You want to be the head of the house, but still pay no bills?

You want him to be faithful to you, but still act single?

I understand that I am far from perfect; but either way, I will strive to be the Proverbs 31 kind of woman.

Very often we forget who we are. We lose ourselves in situations and we end up lacking total control of things.

Very often you go for that which is clearly wrong, and leave behind what is perfect for you.

If you stopped selling yourself short, how much more do you think you would gain?

Sometimes I feel so exasperated watching “girls” run around, living lies, making themselves believe in non existent love.

As i grew, I learnt that I am the source of my own happiness. And if i just make the right and informed decisions, then i will be happy.

So, here goes:

1. If you’re involved in something that drains you, you’re always asking yourself what his intentions are, why he acts the way he does; heck if you ask yourself whether or not you’re in a relationship, that is your wake up call.

2. A man who truly loves you won’t let you wonder. You will know by how he treats you. He will be in your life in capacities no other man ever has.

3. I hear about women feeling devastated when the man they are “dating” gets angry when they refuse to lay with them. I know that a man with the best intentions for you will be willing to wait til you are ready. It’s your decision after all. You’re the one who will have to deal with the number of souls tied to your own. Soul ties are real. But unfortunately not many women know, or rather recognize that.

4. If your “man” makes you go even a day without checking on you but tells you that he was “busy”, interpret that as too busy to talk to you. You’re not number one or anywhere relevant on his priorities’ list. If you’re important to somebody, they will let you know by constantly checking on you. It’s nothing about being clingy, it’s a small display of affection.

5. No, two CANNOT play that game. You cannot lose who you are, and start acting wrong, just to get even. Women who explain to you that if he can cheat, then so can you are simply misleading you to being like them. For what use would it be if you were to lose your dignity and self respect just to feel good about yourself? You won’t.

6. Act how you want people to view you. Draw the line on what you can take, and what you cannot. You all know the situation with Karrueche Tran and Chris Brown. Everyone saw doom for Tran after Chris’ first public blunder, but she decided to be “ride or die”. Broke up with him over the internet and ran right back afterwards. Everyone finds it stupid, but she still holds that she can do without. Would you like it if that was your situation?

Be who you are.

Do what you love.

Love what you do.

A good woman is always a good woman after all.

Don’t be too embarrassed to be yourself, especially when it comes to your personal decisions.

At the end of the day, it is solely about you.

Your decisions are your own; and they will only affect you.

Always remember this:

4 Comments Add yours

  1. I just love your blog

    1. lindagatere says:

      Thank you so much!

  2. Nzalambi says:

    First of your posts that ive read and I agree. About time women stood up for themselves and put themselves first. Continue to write on the things they need to hear but dont want to. Good job!

    1. lindagatere says:

      Thank you Stay 🌷

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